U know its gonna be a great day when the guy at the liquor store waves at u cause u walked by
this guy at work is bossing me around at work. He is 24 and still has highlights and spikes his hair.
You're getting bossed around by a 1999 Highschool Yearbook picture?
On the way home from Florida I threw up at the beginning border and ending border of 6 states. You win this year Spring Break.
He started telling people I was Stephen Hawking's son. When that didnt fly he switched to Tony Romo's cousin
no one is here. wer drinking in the beer garden in the dark and we stole a bucket of blue paint off the sidewalk. now her legs are blue.
When they arrested me, they gave me a bracelet with my mugshot and info. When you get one they can be our BFF Bracelets.
Not sure if you carved a butthole or vagina in that pumpkin but that didn't stop high Phil from mounting. My study group is horrified.
Went to the strip club with my aunt. Do you know how hard it is to be a pervert in front of your female family members?
I wonder when walk of shame thursdays in the rain will finally make me stop drinking.
I know he is still a student. I am not asking if his being an underwear model makes it more ethical, just less prosocutable.
I'm attracted to him because he looks like the kind of guy who would lick my asshole without me having to ask.
When he opened the car door the whole thing fell off. Even that can be forgiven via his monster cock.
He tried to buy me a drink at dollar beer night. All 3 of his credit cards were declined, so he asked me if I could cover it. Needless to say, I'm not calling him back.
I mean I'm sad it didn't work out but tbh he he can't unlick my booty hole or unbreak his headboard... He won't forget my name ever
Of course, it's a law of friendship. "Thy friend Shalt always hold hatred for thine friend's swinish ex"
Randomize
