My Blind Date Arrived. She looks like something I'd draw with my left hand.
I'm a fake celebrity on twitter. I need a life.
apparently they wrote a song entitled "butt slut" about her... im thinking shes not girlfriend material.
Like her Facebook page isn't even hers. It belongs to her tits. It's Titsbook
we're the same shoe size and he owns more pairs of heels than i do. this could be the beginning of a beautiful friendship
You're not horrible. Thank you for my pandas.
the second she challenged me to mario kart drinking game i knew i was in love
So I got this new job… ever been fucked in a corner office before?
I just fell out of my doorway to go to class so if that doesn't describe how my night went idk what will
Babe, Have you see my pants?
Try Jay street in Brooklyn.. that's where I last remember seeing them.
Well he offered to lick my asshole so...I'm not really worried about his interest level.
does 2pm fall under the wake n bake category?
Was last night real life? Like did you really light your hair on fire
Woke up at 5am in an elevator... Pretty much tells you how my weekend went.
Need to use your shower bro.
FWB wearing glitter again?
It’s like she’s marking her territory
Randomize