I mean I'm basically single. Or maybe just an asshole. Either way.
You guys need to get along, there is no need for a pissing contest...We're all fucking each others ex's.
so i say "rick dont build that sandcastle" and he "says ok i wont" then i wake up and its sandcastle fucking city all over my apartment
Blacked in riding a tandem bicycle with a stranger. We stopped for hot dogs.
Your penis chewing exercise is not working
Today's hangover is a "wear sunglasses while pooping in the dark" kind of day
I'm eating crumbled blue cheese out of Tubbaware. My life is nothing.
Found the puke drawer
All I know is she walked in crying with a bag of limes and a bottle of tequila and has been locked in her room blasting lil wayne ever since.
I don't even remember what he looks like. All I know is he's 6 foot 100. I like that.
He said we were over, wrote my name on the condom he left in my car last night and said he'd always keep it in case I came back. It was kind of romantic
336: Dude I lost my.phone Wednesday night at a party and just found it, three days later, on the lacrosse field....what the actual fuck.
Just let me pee on you and I'll leave you alone.
We left him in some bushes a few blocks down toward campus. Did he find his way home?
We need to know if his feet match his cock.
Randomize
