Is making out on a toilet while he is sitting down and pissing weird? cause that's what happened last night
i'm in his phone as sushi coochie
I wanna get so drunk next week I throw up on a guy's genitals. I want to be that memorable for someone.
She was raised with a wonderful home life. I can't do anything with that.
Lets start the night off early. Those Coronas arent going to throw themselves up.
i was actually impressed that she managed to throw up underwater while scuba diving
downstairs . braiding the drunk passed out girls hair, she will thank us In the morning
think they'd let him outta jail for my wedding? we could have him back by like midnight....
They're doing shots to celebrate every 15 minutes passing. You can come get them.
Pretty sure I picked a cat up off the street and took him home with me, fed him tuna, then let him go
He pulled the pencil out of my leg and then we fucked. It felt sorta like pulp fiction in reverse.
IM NOT TALKING TO YOU UNTIL YOU MAKE A PROCLAMATION YOU LOVE ME MORE THAN TACOS
woke with Taco Bell next to me in bed and people's shoe sizes written on my arm.
let me assure you that a rugburn on your forehead is the worst side effect of tequila i have experienced to date.
She walked up to me and whispered "I hope you're good at sex" and led me to the beach.
Randomize
