I met the friendliest cop last night
all we need is a shotglass and a helicopter.
ur penis kinda felt like a vagina to me
gin and tonic in a mug. no limes so im using canned madarin oragnes. classy or trashy?
homeless.
i would hope so, cause i don't think 'i drove off the road because i was getting some head' is covered in insurance
It's almost like sex with her has gotten boring... like it's still good, but the creativity is lacking... it's times like these that i wish she still wanted me to gag her
I had to drink heavily last night because I needed to forget that you told me you want to blow my dad.
In their defense you were hugging a watermelon for a good portion of the trip
I'm not considering your visit a success until we've fucked every cock in the ethnic rainbow...between the four of us we should have it done by x-mas
I had to drink a couple beers this morning so I could attend the keg race. Hangover had to dissipate or it wasn't happening.
also, add "teaching boys to sext" to my charity work
I've found a new low. I was climb-on-the-bar-piano drunk.
KY in my mouth and throat does not a party make.
You drank the pool water to get rid of your hiccups
I'm sorry but it's something you and your A cups wouldn't understand.
Randomize
