wakey wakey hands off snakey
i wouldnt be suprised if in indian your name meant "walking lie"
i just discovered how you can fold down the cardboard sleeve on a hot pocket. Life just got a whole lot easier.
Just saw a picture of your new tub, cant wait to pee in it
he came so fast he could have be employed at jimmy johns
In an m&m suit playing manhunt drunk. And you thought you werent guna have a good time
Just stop talking to douche bags. How do you manage to attract every asshole within a 100 mile radius?
If i could answer that i wouldn't be so afraid to move to a more populated area
Your either lost or getting food, if your lost find me a girl on your way back, if your getting food grab me a double cheese
Brown or brunette? Ketchup or mustard?
I love you bro
I can't take any time off so I'll be here drinking mimosas til I puke at home with my kitty
Want to run by the liquor store later? Tequila Youn should really be in attendance at Party Mountain. No one else could be our spirit animal.
It's simple. He fucks me at his place and I fuck him at my place. It's like man of the house gets to top.
You have set the bar insurmountably high with apple pie and buttsex.
I'm going to get high and eat ice cream until the pain goes away. You're welcome to join.
I broke another vibrator the other day. Abstinence is not for me.
Today we memorialize my orgasms. Taken from me over six months ago, gone too soon. Here's to hoping we'll see one again
Randomize
