You know im sick of people that are still obsessed w obama. that was sooooo last year
I had a dream once that juice was flowing out of my kitchen faucet
No mine's bigger. It just looks smaller because I'm drunk
i just missed the spain goal because i was puking in the bathroom. damn you open bar.
just remembered that i started a tab for just myself at 50 cent beer night last night... i dont understand my life
I decided to have standards now that i've graduated. No guys without a bed frame.
She just hopped out of the car at a red light to pet the baby Jesus in the nativity scene.
Not worth it.
Don't forget: you only show your tits for the good beads. Be judicious.
i feel like i got punched in the cervix. he's a little different in bed than i thought he would be..
We are going to the humane society and getting you microchipped so you don't get lost on your birthday. Either that or your getting a child leash
Idk. The bad part of me thinks it's a good idea. The bad part is also the stupid part.
it's like the easy bake oven version of plastic surgery
Like he was cock blocking and it usually takes ten cocks to block this cock
My mom purposely got me drunk so I can stay at her house bc "we don't spend enough time together." I blacked out anyway, so we didn't spend time together regardless.
He may have been a dick but he DID give me his Netflix log in. Maybe some good did come of it.
Randomize
