Just got back from doctors appt. He lied. It wasn't a pimple on his dick.
Wow i just got reported to security for being a homeless person trying to break into the library.
the three of them together have enough kids to fill a barney live audience.
my hot student got the clitoris wrong on the lab practical...so it kinda makes me not want to pursue it
just because he can't find it on a cat, doesn't mean he can't find it on you
I mean, keeping the tube socks on AND taking cell phone pictures that he didn't ask for during sex? that's two strikes kiddo.
Heated debate on which is worse. Pissing your pants or puking all over yourself
I'm sorry. Both for you two breaking up and because I just ate some of your cheez it's.
wanna hang out tonight and remember it?
I'm really proud of her, she waited until she was on tiled floor to start puking on the ground
you picked up the vacuum cleaner at one point and said you we gonna beat the shit out of me with it. that was kinda funny
Scratch one off the douchebag bucket list. Just saw a guy in a sesame street tshirt and a tap out hat. Didn't get the memo that big bird's trying to get into mma.
My fridge broke, and apparently the back is missing. The repair guy just fixed it with a pizza box. I didn't ask where the box came from, but it wasn't mine. Reason #20 why rent is cheap.
The condition was that I had to eat her out to Beethoven
I emptied a Vyvance capsule into my coffee pot last night and set the auto start. Pretty sure I've been drinking meth all morning
I am still worried she'll have a seizure durring. What would I do? Try to ride it out and finish, or pull out and assist?
Randomize
