Is it bad to use cherry nyquil as substitute for grenadine? Because i just went there.
Nah, totally cool. It already has the alcohol in it.
I am NOT getting arrested in a batman mask
Don't worry. I just took 2 benadryls and beat off. I'm practically sleep texting
It took my four years to get this degree, and 4 hours to lose it, My parents are not impressed.
My mom and dad are smoking a joint while lecturing me on what to bring and how to act in Europe. I'll finish this glass of wine and head over.
Hey, 'thunder cock' as proud as I am for you getting laid, could you put a muzzle on her? I have to be up at 5, thanks.
You get to be the grown up. Leave a ciabatta by his face.
On a scale of 1-10 how seriously are we considering being sugar babies?
I'm about a 7.95
I mean it's like...I'm sorry I slept with your boyfriend but is it my fault that he failed to mention you when I was giving him head in the Dave and Busters bathroom?
There is so much wrong with that sentence
Yeah there really shouldn't be a bar at D&B's...shit gets real
I can't promise that. They just put an extra shot in my margarita.
You can't just be this socially awkward and sexually frustrated and jealous as a fucking demon and be expected to stay sober.
I mean, "boo" isn't the appropriate response to someone dying...
i was asked to be gay of honor by three different girls and NONE of the groomsmen at any of the weddings is open to experimenting. i mean whats the point then.
I think I passed out drunk at my own jewelry party
its like probably shouldnt be sending pics of your asshole to strangers who work in the same building as you
Randomize
