i don't know how boys match. i think shoes & belt are the only thing. it doesn't matter. i just know if they look stupid.
Moan for me like Helen Keller
I am currently trying to use a tide to go pen to remove the jizz from my backseat, it's not working...
i feel like even strangers are annoyed with me because of how drunk i was last night
then the nurse gave me a bag with my personal belongings: phone, wallet. jacket, keys and a BTB burrito
The Shake Weight not only toned my arms but significantly improved my hand job form and efficiency.
I still can't figure out why that's not in the commercial.
It's kind of sad that your greatest accomplishment today is that you stood up and didn't fall down.
But please don't judge me if i smell like mustard
Itd be like fucking a waterbed thats been locked in a barn for two years.
Where in the FUCK do you get your analogies
Bad breakup?
He posted a pic of me fully naked and smiling as he inserted a carrot into my vagina as my FB profile pic and then changed the PW, locking me out of my own account. So 500 of my closest friends, family, and coworkers now have that mental image of me on FB.
Fun fact: I don't want to be an actual functioning adult because why
yeah im watching him make his speech now. cant take him seriously tho. hes talking about funding for education and all i can think about is how ive seen what he looks like wearing womens underwear...
Babe, Have you see my pants?
Try Jay street in Brooklyn.. that's where I last remember seeing them.
He totally fucked me in his Chewbacca socks
You were out of control then you fell asleep on his lap for 30 min and woke up civil. Way to powernap to sobriety!
Randomize
