burritoes are like sleeping bags for ground beef
how do I tell the students with a crush on me, that yes, I am open to receiving blowjobs in exchange for grades?
As per my father's affair, married men are no longer off limits.
Dude squirt doesnt even begin to describe it i thought she was the lost portal to atlantis with how much she let out
I told my mom about how you got white girl wasted and sobbed about Whitney Houston. She sends her condolences.
tell her thanks so much
Just saw the german running around on campus. Thought of his small penis.
As you should.
Can I please come dance in my bra to destiny's child with you? I'll bring the wine and the glitter
The bros used their bong water as pong water but I walked in mid game and didn't know so they hit our first cup and I chugged it.
Plus my fingers were hella swollen from eating all these cured meats so it was like I was given it to her with Hulk Hands on
I gave him a handjob in the uber car. Life is really spiraling downwards.
If you can give me an orgasm, you'll get a trophy.
My sack is cleanly shaven and the rest of my body has been manscaped. i even put aftershave on my junk. i feel sleek like a fighter jet right now.
You were cussing me out in sign language, and slurring your signs.
That's some kind of record drunk there...
Puking out the window is really hard when you're the one driving.
It was a good thing I was on the balcony flashing those guys or I would have never seen her skipping to his car
Randomize