So the D.A.R.E. essay I helped my tutor kid write won an award. Oh the irony.
I haven't worn deodorant in like three days and have been laying around in my underwear listening to music and drinking. I think i've made my own Bonnaroo in my apartment.
I love that she's always that person who people think it's a good idea to invite her to something. and then she's there and you realize, "nope."
WHOA. WHOA. WTF. WHOA. TOO HIGH FOR HIM TO BE ENGAGED RIGHT NOW.
My professors need to stop cancelling class. Bad things happen when I have too much free time on my hands. Bad things.
She is banging on the liquor store door begging them to let her come in.
So you met him?
More like I walked in on him, drunk, naked, and doing "bathtub yoga". Please stop bringing your dates home.
Putting a positive pregnancy test next to my condoms in my drawer so I remember why I always need to use condoms
Tomorrow may or may not be a problem cause i'll be wonder woman for a halloween party aka i'll be fucked up & try & jump off of shit thinking i can fly
Got really high to see my fist college experience unfold. Too high to find my classroom but I found the McDonald's down the street
well, you know. whores of a feather.
It's so Britney 2007, you know?
I sent him a tex saying, "I thought my intentions were clear" drunk me has some balls.
she just sent our roommates a message asking them for a parakeet. are you gonna call later?
Peru was great. He sent me a text after thanking me for my amazing morals which confused me but made me oddly proud...then he texted a correction. He meant my amazing oral. Sadly this Made me prouder. Fuck u bitches and ur morally inhibiting gag reflexes.
Randomize
