Living right is spending a lot of time in someone's ass
Hawaiian shirts and no dignity
We are always on the same wavelength...kinda eerie.
Everyone needs a good pregnancy scare in their life.
I ran out of diet so I'm mixing captain with a juice box. Being a mom has finally paid off.
Throw up on the ground, people dancing to loud Bollywood music, seats literally missing. Fuck I hate public transit
Is it weird being in the house without any roommates?
Nah, just masturbating louder
He just used my bikini trimmer to give himself a fumanchu. And I still plan on having sex with him tonight. This has to be what true love feels like.
Oh please tell me that I'm sleeping in your shower and not the neighbor's again
No, this is non-alcoholic oatmeal.
I totally just stopped for a booty call on the way to my parents for easter....good friday is an understatement
I slept with an Israeli and a Palestinian in the same day. It feels wrong.
i need some food
Holy shit I forgot about you stabbing him.
She told me having sex was our civic duty. How can I not love her?
Is there evidence of another human being getting away with this/ not dying?
He started me on Celexa. I think I feel like Bjork. Is that normal?
Like... my feet feel like little octopuses, and they want to swim to the next room.
Randomize
