I will one day have loud vengeance sex as my revenge against you. Until then I'm just going to sit in the living room playing John Mayer while you're trying to do it.
Fuck the gym. I just shaved m'cooch and my pants now fit looser.... Dont judge me.
just got my girl scout cookies. wanna get high?
you were sitting on the floor eating oats. how should i react?
I had no idea a 5'8 girl could fit entirely on her knees in front of the passenger seat of a Sunfire, but I am very happy to now have that knowledge.
We saluted the chips to the national anthem before cooking them. The house has to get a munchies fryer
hey fuckhead. when i said not to grow shrooms in our apartment, that didn't mean "yea, sure. grow shrooms in our apartment"
True freedom is running around a sex club in former power plant in Berlin wearing a boots, a jock
Do you remember peeing in the sink while I was throwing up?
No ma'am, I do not. I found a video of us trying to do a trust fall though. Emphasis on the trying.
He has a burner phone just to send dick pics. It's revolutionary
Somehow I became in charge of getting my mother laid? This can't be my life? Lol
I see you listening to my get shitfaced playlist on spotify. glad we're on the same page tonight there's a drink waiting for you downstairs.
We broke my graduation cords last night when we used them to tie each other up during sex last night
if it makes u feel better, i skipped class so i could go to a sex convention in jersey a few hours earlier than if i went to class.
Did you poop on the roof?
WTH?
Is that a no?
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