whats a more ladylike way to say "fuck me on your lunch break"?
and this is why i am such an inspirational person, i am the Joel Osteen of alcoholics.
so today I found out that she used to be a he....
are you gonna get a divorce?
we went to the store to buy cookie dough and conditionally went straight towards the booze
I stopped understanding conversations unrelated to vodka two vodkas ago.
If your wondering where your blanket is, I put it on the 2 guys you brought home last night. Their still sleeping outside on the trampoline.
But Monday we'll be living in a post-apocalyptic hellscape. Also, I'm going to a champagne tasting.
I'm pretty sure they kept making references about gangbanging me but I was too stoned to catch on, I just sat there and stared at his kitten.
Handcuffs are allowed in carry on luggage :) just checked
Guy just came in wearing only shorts, on his hand was written - my name is ... Call ... And tell them where i am, thanx - in permanent marker, ordered his favorite dish, and left w/out touching it. It's snowing outside.
Oh yeah I remember when I first saw Kyler's balls. If there's anything high school swim prepared me for, it's the amount of testicles I would see here
who was i chillin with last night? i woke up in a storage unit
He kept kissing me on the cheek when I was pretending to sleep while he cried
I ripped off the screen and literally supermaned through my bedroom window. That wasted
At first I was nervous, then drunk me thought: What other chance will you realistically have to fuck a British guy?
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