If that ambulance is off to save our dignity, please tell them it's too late...
I just got a rly sharp new razor and was shaving down there...
and?
RIP clitoris
Since my computer broke, i've been masterbating to girls gone wild. I feel like i'm in the 90's.
I told him I would sleep with him if he could name all the colors of the wind.
It was all about her orgasm last night. I felt like a human dildo.
watching my parents drink 4 loko out of usf cups playing pool and rocking out to ACDC...
Can I come live with you?
Ok, so for future reference, in Rome, "piano bar" means "brothel".
i can't decided whether the fact that her nipples are bigger then her palms is a problem or not
What's the rule on cocaine before dinner?
Its 11 o'clock somewhere
Dude. You gotta go home. I think I left the snake hanging on the chandelier.
VOOOODKA VOOODKA WE PLEDGE OUR LOVE TO THEEEE VODKAAAA VODKAAAA SAVIOR OF LIBERTYYYY
He doesn't want a full on relationship, he provides me with all the weed I can handle and gives me multiple mind blowing orgasms. He's my soul mate.
LOOK, I was 19, and I made a lot of choices with my crotch which I'm weirdly proud of
Yes dear.
And remember people can't hear you kick ass in space
I woke up on a different floor than I went to sleep on. Can't find my shoes.
Randomize
