Whod you bang
That's why you don't touch shit after fingering somebone
I got my half for the rent already.I called the cops on the drug dealer neighbor and got a 500 bucks as a reward
just chased whiskey with a pickle. i definitely recommend it
I just found all of my Mary-Kate and Ashley movies. Can you say drinking game?
I feel so grown up. I just went to home depot to buy actual home improvement supplies instead of stuff to make a bong with.
last day of my family cruise we all got trashed and had an award ceremony. I got the award for hooking up with a cougar. my grandma hugged me and said im living up to the legacy. this is why my familys better than yours
can we get vodka so I have an excuse for being an emotional wreck
Sometimes I hate my life and then I remember I live in the WORLD CAPITAL OF RUM
We'll I told him I wanted to keep it PG last night, but then later I asked him to take his pants off. So i'm guessing it was my fault.
The lady at target couldn't scan my grocery item and just looked at me and said "just take it. I hate this fucking place". Best munchie adventure yet.
Dude, I have everything I need for meth here.
YOU ARE NOT ALLOWED TO MAKE METH IN OUR APARTMENT.
I woke up hugging my purse and I found a business card in my underwear. How?
The box said 94% effective prevention of pregnancy if used correctly but God knows I’m not gonna use it right so let’s adjust that to like a 70%
After dropping your phone on the ground you got down and sat with it, kissed it and apologized for being so mean
Randomize
