I just got fire extinguished by his roommate while we were having sex. That's just taking cock blocking to a whole new level.
you drew a penis with ranch dressing. tried to take a picture of it and dropped your phone in it. Then made moaning sounds while you licked it off.
he got a rim job in the basement.
apparently i was the one who gave it to him.
i just like, need to vent to someone
Can we skip the part where I pretend to care and fast forward to the appreciative blowjob from you?
Duuuude - Drag Queen Bingo wasn't supposed to end like thissss
So I ripped my crotchless fishnet body suit when my drunk ass tried to crawl through the crotch to put it on.
Okay. So my choices are the sleeping Guy who looks about twelve and a man that looks like he was the original sandman. Im gonna need a beer for this......
People were running around punching out the ceiling tiles Super Mario style.
New rule. Every time you and I have a disagreement that lasts longer than 10min, while in a bar, we'll have a shot. Figure we'll eventually start agreeing sooner rather than later...
That shot was terrible
You were like one of those guys at carnivals that spit out fire..... Except it was throw up
Have you considered sword swallowing? Something about that bj tells me you could make a it a career.
man fuck you i am a delight. you're the one who fucking set his tree on fire while high
He started talking about getting a puppy together. So of course I went down on him later
We found you walking up the on ramp to the highway carrying a 40 mph speed limit sign with no shoes on. Rough night?
Can I come over and use your shower? My roommate got drunk last night and took my bathroom door off its hinges
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