It really wasn't that bad. Well, it was pretty bad, but only in 3 second bursts.
Court Ordered Rehab!!! Do you think I'll need a swimsuit?
Can I use cash for clunkers to trade in her boobs for a new set of 18 year old tits?
Its worth a shot.
If they ask for a stool sample we r no longer friends.
hungover + watching bobsledding = i just puked
How many folks do you know who bring coke to a dinner party. Seriously.
I got asked if I was pregnant as a pickup line
I know. I told you I'm a mess. She had weird nipples. I almost lost an eye to one.
Another day, another engagement, another cat
thanks for not telling him i named my trumpet after his dick
The waitress asked if you wanted white or brown, and you said "Isn't it all the same color when it's toasted?". She stared at you for about 20 seconds before she decided that you weren't fucking with her.
No! Last time I got hit with a beer bottle
Haha, Tuesday man
If we had kids we couldn't come home, get high and watch porn together. And that's like the only reason I get up in the morning
no it was
but you compared your dick to a female disney character
She wore her engagement ring the whole time we fucked. I hate her fiancee, so it was cool
Randomize
