Cold hands, warm shart.
Pish posh, there's never a bad time to eat food off my body.
Btw, I'm really high so I apologize if anything I say gets translated into arabic.
it wouldnt have been so bad but she still had the cowboy hat on when my mom walked in
he turned the pretty ricky playlist on. its about to go down.
Just had a handjob preempted by a huge bolt of static electricity leaping from her fingertip to my sack. I hate this time of year.
I HAVE stop dating guys for their prescriptions, you have no idea how awkward family dinner was. Thank god for his xanax.
the girl peeing in the stall next to mine has really cute shoes. on a scale of 1 to restraining order, how weird would it be to compliment them from in here?
I don't care how great the sex was, I cannot unsee what has been seen. I regret ever stalking his Facebook.
The fact that you walked around talking like Barbie and still got laid amazes me.
we played animal sounds and i linked arms with her cuz we were both cats....fate and my community college drama teacher have chosen my one night stand
If my neighbors have super loud sex again tonight, I'm going to leave a ball-gag and roll of duct tape in their mail slot.
Life hack: hotbox while in the car wash. It'll change your life.
The dick lei will go down in squad history
He showed up at my house with roses and a bottle of vodka... to watch a movie. obvi i took the vodka and didn't sleep with him
Randomize