My brain says no but my pants say off.
My breakfast consisted of a slimfast and an adderal. My fridge is like an insecurity buffet.
So what if i'm late to spanish tomorrow. who the hell cares. i don't even speak spanish.
He was like an evil genius with the clitoris. I don't stand a chance.
Did your dad mention the fact that you asked him for viagra at 2 in the morning?
so this was truly a case of the blacked out leading the blacked out.
You haven't puked in my sink in over a year.. Youre coming over this weekend
note to self: do not snort crushed up caffeine pills in the bathroom by yourself when ur super shit faced, ur face will fucking hate you in the morning.
He's gonna be so upset when he get's a real job and can't do serious drugs.
I thought I was bad, the girl next to me on the bench was feeding a bush a hamburger and introduced me. Only at lollapalooza.
WHO ARE THESE GUYS WHY AN ORGRY ON A MONDAY LMAO
I paper cut my nipple reading mail topless
I am not even ashamed to say it, I got laid in the stairwell of the hotel, by a 29 year old. It was awesome!
You showed up at 4 am holding a beer and wearing a wig you apparently found in the dumpster.
That explains some things...
So I guess I walked across campus with "pat my ass" in sharpie on my forehead.
You deserve it, you colossal cock block.
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