sometimes when you bring the thunder you get lost in the storm
i went to disney world today with my friends, met snow white, then saw her later at a bar. she is naked next to me in her bed, passwed out. when you wish upon a star...
Astroglide: It's like Bengay for your ass.
that was after you ironed the burrito. didn't leave much cheese on the ironing board though
Writing apology letters and leaving them on peoples doors for your actions is NOT what I want to be doing at 6am.
I told him he was probably the first guy to get fucked while wearing Star Wars pyjamas.
You just sent me a picture of a federal crime. Like. You don't give a fuck.
I had to physically pry the rocks out of your hands so you wouldn't throw them at the guy with the cowboy hat. You probably would've missed anyways.
I'M SO WET FOR FREEDOM
We got a kitchen table so we would eat together more. So far we've played drunken monopoly and had sex on it.
Btw. U, me, male strippers, beer. Gonna happen. We could totally get TNT from like u know TNT places
I'm eating your cookies as payment for having to listen to you. Happy sex
she just kept straddling the railing to the stairs and shouting "come on Seabiscuit, lets win this for America."
U NO SLUT. YOUR HEART IS JUST FREE.
So naked ping pong was a mistake... Looks like we were attacked by an octopus.
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