Getting fucked up met up rando with a girl I confesswed my love for last night. weird, going with it
fuck, i never want to drink again I drunk dialed matt last night and broke up with him the second night in a row. FUCK QUADFEST
I wish i was in the wii world.
As far as classy things to do in front of your ex go, throwing up on your own shirt is not one of them.
So one buddy got tackled at the urinals by national guard members and was arrested. Another had sex in a port o potty with possibly the drunkest girl I've ever encountered. The rest of us blacked out and won a few bets. So yes, the derby did meet our expectations.
You seemed more interested in the queso dip than you were in the hand job
I can't believe we had "50th anniversary of man in space" sex.
Sorry we're taking so long, this weed cake tastes amazing with Tabasco sauce on it.
I'm not saying Tijuana was a bad idea, I'm saying that we make poor life choices. And Steve was robbed by the police.
Come over. I've made 2 dinners and so many cocktails. I'm a 50's housewife with no family.
And if I could both stabilize myself *and* pick things up with my penis... Well, I wouldn't be on the fire dept...
She said she had a surprise for me and sent me a video of her having sex with some fat dude. It was a mood killer
Waffles and pussy, what else is there?
I tried to be mean but not so mean that he won't bone me next weekend
Do you know who these girls are? They're baking a cake, making chicken enchiladas, and bringing me beer everytime I finish one.
Randomize
