i went to disney world today with my friends, met snow white, then saw her later at a bar. she is naked next to me in her bed, passwed out. when you wish upon a star...
Stop everything. They have oreo straws to drink milk with and then you eat the straw. I think i just got turned on by a cookie commercial.
I totally thought the tree was playing the guitar
dude your alot more fun to hang out around now that your addicted to coke...but seriously you need to stop
Let's just say a refrigerator got involved and after that I had to send him home.
I just found scrambled eggs in my shower. Thanks for that, asshole.
I'm really not interested in hearing from him. Unless there is casual sex involved
He said he only likes girls with a sense of humor, after he took his pants off I understood why
Please rescue me. but take your time, im getting pizza
i only stock magnum condoms so if the guy i bring home doesn't fit in them he only gets to eat me out. no exceptions.
you told me your favorite colors were "pink" "no pants" and "Mexican food"
Looking for my adderal, only found acid. What a shame
I am high playing guitar hero naked. Please don't let me die this way
Mom got drunk as hell, crashed Dad's wedding and some how left with the best man. This is why you should be glad you aren't my sibling.
I went next door to get a can opener from them. They opened the door shirtless, asked me if I wanted to a smoke a joint with them. Then decided to make blueberry smoothies. But the yogurt in the blender & the berries, got confused when the berries blended into the yogurt and just kept adding more. Only stopped when we ran out of berries.
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