So I decided to put different foods on my dick to see which would feel the best
and??
Cake is only good when you eat it
just got dressed up for chatroulette- THAT desperate.
This beer is not sobering me up at all
I'm not an expert but calling her the "hot lesbian" isn't going to coerce her into a 3some with you
Look I know it's late and I hope this doesn't wake you up but I feel like you should know that I'm sleeping on my couch in my own apartment so that my friend can get laid in my bed, and I would do the same for you.
We legit stopped the the game so that Jamie and I could throw up in the bushes, and then continue to play intramurals... this is what my life is coming to1
He wrote me poetry. 12 hours after getting my number
I wish you could take over my body and feel what my nipple feels like right now
Hes trying to fuck me on a bear rug. Not saying no.
It's one of those things you just need to see in person at least once in your life. Like Niagara falls or some shit. His ass is the Niagara falls of asses
how do I say, without sounding slutty... That I can take a dick?
I don't know what the hell I'm going to do with myself when this is all over. I'll probably just go back to smoking pot and trying to learn italian.
andy told me i got kicked out of the bar and was so drunk i forgot and got back in line. the bouncer was zero impressed
it's my fake id's birthday. i'm wearing a hat, and i have a beard. i'm untouchable. TO THE BARS!
Its like a glacier coming out of my asshole.
Randomize
