Don't make out with my wife yet
my soul wont recognize me after tonight
FYI-Owning a kitty significantly lowers your chances of ever seeing mine...
that was a gay-test. you passed.
with flying rainbow colors i hope!
hey, here's something you don't have worry about since you're a girl: finding crusty cum in your bellybutton.
im having a hard time not telling ppl about ur bathroom story
I don't know how God could bestow someone that emotionally confused with such an awesome penis.
I was. I was trying to blow bubbles in the toilet after I threw up in it. They had to carry me everywhere. I lost a sock.
On the quad today: An amish choir singing something weird, and not 30 feet away 3 girls tanning topless. Definition of diversity.
You tried to tell her that the salad was an afrodisiac then proceeded to stroke yourself with the feather duster
So I bring Danny back to the apartment for the first time and my roommate is curled up in the beanbag in the middle of the floor, wearing nothing but her uggs, high out of her mind and watching Harry potter... She offered us kettle corn.
He asked if he could come over tomorrow....
If I ever see that bitch it is going down flavor of love style
It's pretty self explanatory. You tried to have sex on the hood of a car in front of everyone
sitting in the prison waiting room in my boyfriends clothes. looooong story.
I think he is using me to sort through his relationship issues, past and present. I did not sign up for this. All I want is booty. Am I the dude in this relationship?
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