its like the voldemort of pregnancies, we don't talk about it
i may or may not be dressed up as my farmville farmer. gonna harvest some ladiesss tonight!!!
she asked me which thongs i though her boyfriend would like best. fuck the friend zone
Everyone is hammered wasted already...young, old, the dying, babies...we got them all
we can fight about whose fault it is later....naked.
Even though he had a fractured vertebrae, the sex was still phenomenal. Better than normal actually. I hope the vertabrae never heals.
And now I'm drinking leftover wine in the grad lounge because fuck my life
The Blue Grotto manager called. He asked me for your name and number. Apparently, on reviewing the videotape he noticed you consumed a whole pizza by yourself. He indicated that he has a tshirt for you and wants to put your picture on his eating wall of fame. Apparently, you are the first such person to complete this incredible feat of eating. Congratulations to you!! I am so proud.
ugh... fuck pirate breakfast. my head is like thirsty.
He legit watched "Cops" the entire time he was fingering me.
It's okay, big boobs are better than running.
Ya apperently its not "appropriate" to fuck in the school auditorium
My school has hired a professional rum bottle juggler for our dining hall this evening.
so how about you dont randomly call my mother during parties?
I just named someones junk. I should not be allowed to talk to people.
Randomize
