If you're ever in Seattle we should Fuck. Or get coffee, whatever.
Hopefully the semester will be over before she has a breakout. Then I can just avoid the situation entirely
Sometimes he has weird facial hair...Basically he has a penis... that's what he's got going for him.
He just told me that he goes squirrel hunting. NO LONGER BANGABLE.
at the hospital. the stripper fell on his face when she was trying to grab the dollar bill out of his mouth with her ass. broken nose for sure.
I am omw to AA Fellowship by the sea w Jenny and a stripper who just paid for our jetski with 85 $1 bills
Just woke up with an eye that wont open, a half eaten piece of pizza on my chest and a raging boner.
Where did this racoon skin hat, stop sign and bag full of tacos come from?
Narnia or $5 pitcher night either way
Bro if you don't text me back I'm gonna send you a picture of my nut sack every ten seconds for the rest of the night. I'm home alone with nothing to do. Don't push me.
We both work at 8am and I have to shower but my roommate is passed out on our bathroom floor with the door locked. Merry Christmas.
i don't find him as attractive when he's dressed as himself...bring back Indiana jones and I would so fuck him again
The first thing I did when I got to the apartment was masturbate on the couch
i'm now remembering the last part of my nigght....ugh. apperently i bargained with the wendys drive up girl after they closed and got "w/e they had left" for $7
You took off your shirt and pulled out a bottle of cherry uv and a slushee. That's when I knew you came to party
Just made a drug contact standing in the sandwich line in the dining hall. Is this real life?
You're my fucking hero.
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