Class is significantly more awkward when you know that your teacher knows what you look like with your legs behind your head... Just saying.
I can't make this stuff up. Your ex is singing I Will Survive on the karaoke.
There were 4 naked women demanding my presence. Of COURSE I got into the pool.
I don't know what happen last night but the fact that it's 9 am and I need to put my dick in something means it didn't go as planned.
This summer isn't about fun. We have to train our livers to survive the next four years.
I think they're German
Just say lederhosen and see what happens
You asked me if you had to go downstairs to get upstairs. And then you forgot where you were.
I'm like a savant for remembering names I learned while I was drunk. Seriously, I'm three for three. I'm on a roll.
sorry like um she made me hold her puke bag while she peed in front of me is that better
I can't believe I left out the part about him peeing on the side of Route 2 at 3 a.m. while wearing a dress.
Does it qualify as sexting if you're both pretending to be fictional characters?
I'm not sure whether to be proud of you or weirded out.
Any chance I can buy my dignity back with $45?
I bought a box of wine on my way home. I figured if I’m going to be broke during the holidays, I might as well be able to drink about it.
Which is worse that I came in public or that no one noticed?
Although the guy I'm messing around with just offered to let me be his rich brother's sugar baby
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