.....so he has a son. Josh. That is not his roommate
Are you for fucking real.? He divorced me just because he got a fucking girlfriend.?!
we were shitfaced at work by 8pm. I had to stop myself from pouring vodka in everyone's cappuccino.
Lets just not get arrested. That might put a damper on everything. I only say that cause i've almost been arrested.
to whom it may concern. if i am dead in colleens bed it is not her fault i slept in my scarf. my dads middle name is ronald.
Drunk cheerio confetti may seem like a brilliant idea when your drunk, but believe me, the next day, its a horrible, horrible mess.
I was all over the place but at every locale you would pop out of nowhere and hand me a huge drink and say "HAMMERED"
I am the fairy godmother of the drink.
Russians do not operate on the same level as the rest of us. hoping I wake up tomorrow
begin the sex magic rocket ship countdown
Tonight, a friend walked in and said "oh look at that. Drunk on the living room floor. Just as expected." this is my life. This is my life.
nothin like your phone freezing up and sending out old booty calls at 11am on a sunday. fml.
note: just because the casino is called bourbon street, it doesn't mean you can puke and keep walking and no one will care. chalk me up for another 86
I was the only one in group sessions to bring up sex as a stress reliever. Some of those people were awfully judgy despite the fact we were all in a psych ward.
Are we planning this because I am online looking for places with a Mechanical bull
He howled at the moon then told me that if i were a dog he'd have sex with me...either i look like that girl or i need to stop going on blind dates. Period.
Randomize
