The bar is filled with bros right now. Sucks I had to pay $5 to find that out.
I like to think it a success when the cops are called
just fyi, hangover + ice skates = really bad idea
You know what sound is wonderful for a hangover? Listening to the horns from the South Africans at the world cup
Remember that crazy chick I've been ignoring and said I wouldn't bang her again? Can we start that again part today?
You're like my zumba instructor for alcoholism right now
I think ill wear my dads dashiki but make it sluttier. We shall see
She just causally held my limp dick in her hand the entire movie. Her parents were cuddling on the couch too..that brave!
Listen I'm a sentimental character under all this alcohol and ratchetry
She definitely peed in a bucket in their closet last night. We should warn them about that, right?
How did I pull off convincing everyone that my name is Dad? Maybe they were just distracted by my boobs.
One day, I might be old and married wishing I could bang everyone... and that'll be a problem. So I feel in my heart it's something I need to do.
The shrooms were awesome. Everyone's bones in their face looked so beautiful! Everyone had great face structures.
According to my bank account I spent a penny some where
Dude. I just got a visual of u climbing over a bathroom stall to save my life.
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