You hook up with other guys, let him talk to other girls.
no
I feel like I've been hit by a train. I woke up this morning covered in wine, free condoms, and a sign language dictionary.
Just got an email from TMobile. Said they were going to pursue "more qualified" candidates. So this is what rock bottom feels like.
You kept asking who was the good cop and who was the bad cop, you said you only wanted to talk to the good one
You fed me milk from the beer bong because you thought it would "Sober you up" .
You came in as I got off work, ordered us jack and cokes. Put them on my tab, and then proceeded to fall asleep on the bar.
Did you leave your blow razor here? I need it for crafts.
Bad behavior is like a petri dish that grows organically In my heart
I'm your Election Erection Connection
I retroactively revoke all sex we've ever had.
It was all good till you had ppl chasin shots of ciroc with fucking applesauce
How old am I that I had to sneak a boy out of my room this morning...
I'm taking pictures of my asshole to send to my boss. This is not what I had in mind the day after thanksgiving.
he was like tryna hang and chat and I was like dude there's an iguana in this room
Is it weird that I have your number saved in my phone as baby Jesus?
I made him fuck me while wearing a Thor helmat from Walmart. Geek sex is the best sex
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