Just fyi NOT a good idea to drunkenly insert your NuvaRing after chopping jalepeno peppers
I want to leave work and go home and eat Five Guys and masturbate
dont you remember the bouncer yelling at you while you were trying to piss?
no. why was the bouncer in the bathroom?
he wasn't. neither were you.
Does the whole "it was New Years" excuse apply this year?
Also I spent like 2 hours on the hubble/nasa website sunday night looking at pictures of outer space and cried my face off at how beautiful and complex it is. What's wrong with me?!
I want to get my vag crammed with complete loss of every bit of dignity I have left by this man from every angle on every flat surface that exists. That is all.
You have amazing self restraint. If there was one thing I could learn from you, that wouldn't be it. I love my life as it is.
If you set your screensaver to be a slides show, make sure you remove dick pics first. This lesson 1 of living with your great aunt
I wish to strangle
whoa there darth vader
How did it feel to just observe all the people blacking out usually you're on the other end of things
I felt like I was at the zoo
Rage-masturbating and then crying myself to sleep. Welcome to Wednesday.
There's a dryer on fire at the laundromat, and everyone's just standing around taking pictures. Except me. I'm texting.
I can't remember what I did last night, but judging from the state of my hair I had a pretty good time.
We should get drunk in walmart
when?
20 minutes ago
I would cock slap so many things if I had a cock.
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