Four minutes until I can fart!
I just remember standing in the shower with you eating chips.
I never had a problem I couldn't slut my way out of.
Nope, just sitting on the couch, eating an advent calendar, being depressed about the herps.
I waited so long to accept his friend request that he canceled it. So I added him and when he accepted I deleted him. I wonder how long this will be funny to me
If I don't have herpes this will be the single greatest day of my life
I'm currently bartering with this guy so I can fuck his bi girlfriend. We're at 5 pizzas and he gets to watch us make-out.
You stole my camera, took a picture of yourself and said "that's beautiful, just as beautiful as our waitress".
The sign say "Kereoke" strip bar. 5 more beers and ill be ready to rumble.
the evidence from last night is not good...
what evidence?
my underwear is on inside out, and there are french fries in my hair...
The pigeons can smell the fear
Wtf
I don't understand why your family and sex lives should EVER overlap.
I only listened to his story about leaving the Amish community because I was hoping for a free drink
Model at car show < day drinking with your favorite sister. Get your head in the fucking game Christopher.
Btw I'm playing passed out so you can get laid but obviously you need to take the offense just ask him if he wants to go to bed and leave a cigg on the counter
Randomize
