I just crawled out of a second story window using a sheet and his clothes for a rope so he wouldn't wake up.
I am so glad I watched Macgyver as a kid.
Like my Aunt Merial always says ... big dicks, big dicks.
so i was creeping on him today and there was like nothing new except he became a fan of getting dome
i wish i could be like. "i like giving dome, lets be friends"
stuffed animals make me feel really maternal.
i think i got so emotional from a mix of getting my period and slapping the bag like five times
i just lost my virginity for the 9th time. when will guys stop believing that nonsense line
I think I breastfed the cat at some point during the night, at least that's what my nipples are saying
I think his parents are learning english from the phrases I shout during sex.
he left his wallet here so lets treat ourselves to a lunch for the lack of penis we both had deal with
sitting alone on a bench with a sombrero and a bottle of vodka. really angry i got here before you guys.
just won 200$ from the school for "liking" the anti-alcohol seminar. putting it to good use
how?
not even kidding, my fake id is arriving in 6-8 business days
10/10 would definitely still fuck you dressed as squirrel
so much tequila, so little girl.
I think I got a sinus infection from puking out my nose on st. Patricks day #thisis26
“On a break” is implied when it’s a Russian chick dressed as Black Widow wearing Minnie Mouse ears
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