Apparently mid blow job I started crying telling her how "Wonderful this blow job is"
Today in psych we learned that you are a whore.
Me specifically?
Yep.
Were you paying girls to come up and grab my cock and tell me I look like bradley Cooper?
Quick question. What's the protocol on going back to a bar after going home with one of their bartenders?
Go back and try to find another to go home with.
Bro, she used the potato bongs to make French fries after. She's deff a keeper.
Hardcore start to spring break. Mike is wearing adult diapers because the only stop we are making is for gas.
I sobered up and saw I was with the fat one and you had left laughing with the hot one. You're a terrible wingman, but an excellent manipulator
Yea... The gym isn't gunna happen today... When I was drunk last night I tried to prove I could front flip off the wheel cover of a semi... I fucked up my shoulder pretty bad... It was more of a roll
Look, sometimes you have to snapchat a topless photo of yourself in the middle of class just to prove you can. I can and I did. End of argument.
Whatever. I have his dick. Haha how many girls can say they have a dildo replica of a guy they were seeing
He bought me shrimp and alcohol and referred to himself as daddy. I am in love.
I made him fuck me while wearing a Thor helmat from Walmart. Geek sex is the best sex
This is the difference between me and him; he buys you flowers, I buy you a dildo
U wanna come over and watch talidaga nights. Ill make pancakes
What? It's 130 in the morning.
Aww come on i make bomb ass pancakes
home. only unpacked the necessities...contact case and beer.
Randomize
