Dual, econ, hell, shiv, aunt, puppy. 1 out of 6. T9 word needs to learn how to cuss like me.
in vegas stuck in the middle of a pride right now
Pride?
thats a pack of cougars
go fuck yourself
Things on my life to do list: hold a pound of marijuana. Check.
i looked at dads computer and apparently he was looking at job ads on craigslist and the only one clicked that turned purple said "GET PAID TO MASTURBATE"
How do you say "I always respond to booty calls" when you give a guy your number?
gpnpr hd vmdd nm the ggrl whm was mn my lar
I need you to use more vowels.
slut bingo starts in ten minutes ...
A shower wasnt enough to wash off the shame but at least it took care off the blood.
nothing says roomie bonding better than a sunday shroom trip.
Sorry for locking you out after accusing you of eating my Skittles... I realized I was mistaken after just throwing up the rainbow.
It's isn't revenge sex until you've cum on her porcelain doll collection.
Serio, who the fuck falls down coming offstage wearing nothing but pasties, a g-string, and a fake moustache, and now suddenly needs a tetanus shot. Me. That's who.
When your job has killed your spirit to the point that you don't want to flirt with the cute, tall guy at Enterprise
GIRL PLEASE. GO BACK AND POP THE TITTY OUT
You think the guy at the speed wash knows he needs to scrub the vomit off the side of my car?
He knew.
Sorry I totally pulled a home invasion on you last night
That was super inconsiderate of me
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