he just said he'd buy the porn
its a step up from the last guy
He's still on the phone with him. This is unnatural. Dudes don't call other dudes just to talk.
Contrary to what I yelled at them last night, it turns out campus police CAN arrest people...
What?? I'm covered in blood at the hospital, I atleast deserve a pic of someones boobs
Disregard that. She just puked into her boot and started screaming.
A kid in my class brought a George Foreman and cooked food mid lecture. When the prof found out, all the kid did was ask if he wanted some.
i draw the line when you ask for directions at a place you're already at.
You just gave me the title for the series of our lives. Haha. Chapter 12: the cocaine on the back of the hairbrush
Please tell me that all of the things I remember doing last night didn't really happen. Please.
Before he left he told me if his girlfriend ever finds out, she'll take us both to an alley and kill us.
I wanted to write an apology letter to my vagina after that.
Had to admit my broken elbow was caused by vodka, not hockey
This is bullshit, I shit my pants for the 1st time in 30 years, stuck on the 405, fuck this shit.
Depends
Did you apologize to him for the trip to the strip club as a first date or is that something that just gets swept under the rug??
My dad just invited me to smoke a blunt with him. Parent-child bonding at its finest (and highest).
Randomize
