I'm saving my limes so I'll know how many drinks I've had.
I do the same thing, but I use ice cubes.
I woke up and there was 3 different size condom wrappers on the floor. What is this goldie locks and the 3 condoms???
She uses empty wine bottles as book ends. 2 on each side. At least 8 shelves.
He was taking the condom off and he turns to me and says, "You know how snakes can shed their skin?"
Is this one of those "if you didnt give such good head we couldn't be friends" moments?
The gay is strong with you! You're more concerned about my outfit than my safety.
I would have been very attracted to her had she not been reading me my Miranda Rights
I have someone saved in my phone as "This Hoe Ain'tit' Loyal" and I'm missing my superman boxers. Explain.
Im like a saiyan, last weekends hangover will only make me stronger
Are you 5:30 blackout again?
I woke up with my shoes still on and my pants around my ankles cause I couldn't get them over my shoes
would it be okay if I showed up at your house naked? and is your door unlocked?
What’s the level of adulting when you reschedule a dentist appointment to have a threesome?
But he said I was unpatriotic for not having sex with him. What was I suppose to say to that?
Someone's gotta tell him drunk sex comes before dating
Randomize
