went in for an STD check and they referred me to an alcohol and drug councilor. kick me when i'm down.
I've rolled joints bigger than that penis.
i think i have herpe
just one?
worms taste like bacon by the way.
I always wondered what they tasted like.
they had a keg party to fund her abortion.
Chicago was legit, ate some badass pizza and gave a cig to a crackhead..its all i thought it would be
if every girl in minneapolis isn't pregnant when i get back to the cities i will cry
Stripper fight on main stage. It just happened. And it was glorious.
Just saw a homeless man taking a shower in someone's sprinkler system....
He just got dropped off drinking a flask, sitting on the handlebars of a chinese delivery man's bike
Tonight's gonna be epic. Did he bring my noodles?
I LEAVE YOU TWO ALONE FOR 45 MINUTES AND ALL MY WHIPPED CREAM AND CONDOMS ARE GONE
It's gotten so bad I typed my will out on my phone in case it's over.
I SMOKED SO MUCH I SKIPPED A DAY.
I get a little bitchy. We all know that
That's a gentle way of saying I passed out like an 18-year-old on his first trip to Tijuana
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