I think I just saw the travelocity gnome in leather chaps.
I feel like your standards for women is like rent-a-centers standards for credit.
getting your period on valentines day is like an extra little fuck you, now you REALLY have no chance of sex tonight.
they are using this drunk girl like a spin the bottle in the hot tub, whoever she lands on she makes out with.
You guys crashed sarahs vespa into a snowbank and its still there. not cool.
I'm drunk on a monday night. Not a good start to finals week
Hint of advice dont get with minor league baseball players, you can google their stats but not their stds.
at work, .. 47 yr old boss was in a fight. 2 BLACK EYES. I may get fired. I cant stop laughing
How would your parents feel if we installed a sex swing?
I left him on his mom's lawn after he passed out in my lap and told me my vagina smells like flowers. Couple of the year award
Saw the guy I once slept with, he was buying Beer and shit tone of diapers. Glad to see how 2016 will turn out.
You've changed since you got that strap on
I've turned into a small time drug dealer, now who's the real MVP.
I just found your shirt hanging in a tree 4 blocks from the party...in the opposite direction of your house. where are you going?
I cannot believe I accepted his penis into my body.
Randomize
