i fell asleep last night with fifteen animal crackers in my mouth. rock bottom dude.
He ripped my extensions out during sex, not noticing until this morning when he saw them on the floor. I told him they werent mine and he went and threw them in his sister's room.
his penis was crooked so i rode him at an angle. he seemed used to this.
we are cloud gazing and there is one that looks like a giant baby riding a dolphin and smoking a joint
i wish there was a reasonable explanation for why this reminds me of you
"Guy Time" translaed into 10 shots apiece and me waking up covered in my own blood.
What I wanna know is who took a picture eiffel towering her?
Article 1, law 1, section 1 of the apartment 25 party handbook: tarp will be purchased prior to any and all future parties. Aforementioned tarp will be placed on floor. Any and all sick patrons must relocate to tarp preceding the event of expulsion of bodily fluids. Failure to do so will result in ejection of guilty patron and banishment of the accused from succeeding party. All patrons must read and sign a copy before entry is granted.
Shots. Renamed a guy (he looked like a Scott to me), running, bloody Marys, walk to Safeway, donuts, ride home from someones husband, Nurse Jackie. FIN.
Just because you can put your penis in it does not make it "good stuff".
What does that mean when you have a child masturbating in your dream? Is that weird?
so i might have figured out why that girl isn't talking to me...I'm 90% confident I didn't give her a pillow when she stayed over >.>
I though he and I knew each other well enough that we could go to my hotel room to do a bunch of cocaine together without their being any homoerotic implications, but NOOOOOOOOO!
Reminder: You could have had sex with me while wearing a tiara.
I told her my hands felt like they touched the sun, never been that stoned before
you have to get here a cop came into the bar and she looks like Sarah Palin. I think I'm gonna try and bang her
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