Uhh me and Jacque peed on the street outside the bar last night and wiped with flowers. I vaguely remember her repeating the word "fresh" over and over.
Aw c'mon. You have to see if the spinning penis rumor is true.
I think u should go home and go to bed. If u get arrested in the Ohio river u go to jail in Kentucky. Nobody wants to go to jail in KY.
Whatevss it will be funn .. Hopefully no one projectile vomits on the wall again.. Its kinda become a tradition though
now that you've tased me I refuse to buy you flowers
im tired of her bring homeless men home when shes drunk. THEY ARE NOT FUCKING PETS!!!!
You know what? I bet HE would do stormtrooper roleplay with me. I'm in.
he gifted me a vibrator as he was breaking up with me. you tell me how my night went
this hangover isn't hhappening. im not letting it
its winning. its definitely happening
My rule for unemployment is that I can't smoke before noon.
I haven't gotten up before 1 though, so it hasn't really impacted me.
He and I are in a competition of who can sleep with the most people at work. We're tied at two. I could win this if they'd stop hiring damn straight girls.
okay yeah but you've seen me eat jambalaya naked
Nice classy night out before we roll our faces off
You bet your firm but soft ass I miss you
sober me needs to have more faith in drunk me.
Randomize
