I know right? mind you this is the same woman who told me when I was 12 that oral sex just meant talking dirty
How, after 24 years of life, did I manage to revisit breastmilk
im over her. I got weed and youtube. everything i could ever ask for.
Oh my god. He likes it up the butt. But loves womanly support. Omg. Its bad. Its bad. Ive had too much whiskey for this to be ANYthing except bad.
Boys DO look like their dicks. Its like dogs.
He was like Sweeney Todd... But, without the killing people part.
So... He's a barber?
No. He's got crazy hair, and a revenge fetish. But he's hot. Does that make up for it?
When I said tequila slammers would be the death of me, I didn't intend it to be today. Oh god.
I hugged the bouncer as we left.
Why the fuck is he under my phone as Papi Chulo?
Remember that time we turned a can of Axe body spray into a flame thrower?
I just used my citation as a bookmark. Want a beer?
And I'm laying here struggling with the notion that I need to put pants on.
I just don't understand why your parents aren't supporting your dreams of being a medieval weapon smith.
My first love was gay too, it's okay.
I woke up in the middle of the night on all fours turning circles in my bed! No more patron for me!
Randomize