i was born a porn star she said
I swear if I see one more guy in a v-neck and fedora I'm going to punch someone in the balls. This is philly, you're not supposed to look like Ryan Cabrera
You're breaking my vagina 4 times a day I reserve the right to know your middle name.
Someone apparently named 'eleaw' just text me asking if I had fun last night.
It's amazing how many friends she makes simply by carrying that flask of whiskey everywhere she goes.
You kept telling me how warm your bag of vomit was and asked me if i wanted to feel.
Yesterdays boozy weather forecast has been extended to today
We are without power. He took ALL the lightbulbs out and hid them.
Jus saw ur date getting a bj in the mcdonalds parking lot...u want anything?
i am one fart away from being 2 for 2 on this whole shitting my pants thing.
I should get an "I gave blood today" type of sticker, but instead it would say "I went balls deep today"
If there was a category for "most likely to end up a serial killer" in your high school yearbook then I'm sure you would have won it
I'm not trying to take your husband away from you, but can we have another 3way soon? I'm just desperate for good dick.
Certain restrictions may apply. Common side effects of sex with me include unbridled joy, a healthy glow, soreness and the inability to walk for short to long amounts of time. If any of these side effects occur please consult your physician, so he/she can prescribe me a "high-five".
Profesor just winked at me. This class might be easier than I thought
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