dude, she has braces
i meant the dude w the ponytail.
i was less creeped out when i thought you were talking about the 14 y.o.
I left my keys in the garlic bread freezer in Publix.
There are traffic cones in the living room. One of them is yours.
I wish i could go to google and type in drug dealers and it would bring up a number, a product and direction
She kept screaming "best case scenario"
He put used condom on the handle of the plunger in the bathroom.
For the record, chili cheese fritos are not a chaser.
Bering your kids um. Abiout tol. Throw up
We've reached the point in our fuck buddy relationship where we are playing words with friends. This is too intimate.
Just got attacked by a family of raccoons, I have the worst luck.
After her AA meeting, she was on the phone with her mom, and when she said, "they're making me start over with Step 1," I quietly sang, "cut a hole in the box".
You were taking in your sleep. You were like Jess that's that animal we were talking about and you Hugged her feet
Do you remember whose house we're in?
Is it appropriate to send an apology gift to his roommates for breaking the bathroom sink during crazy sex?
it'll be like the notebook except for with way more of my penis
Randomize
