I called Tyra Banks a whore to her face. A sure sign I should go home. Instead I went to the gay bar.
I would dunk an oreo in her breast milk
his penis was like watching paranormal activity your very hyped up to see it but you think it might be very scary and in the end you didnt really see anything at all
2 bagels in my tummy and my herpes on my mind
I'm trapped in whichever ring of hell is populated by inbred yokels and type 2 diabetes.
I have a drinking game planned. Were gunna watch empire records. Everytime they say rex manning we have to take a shot
I found the other part of your tooth if you want to put it under your pillow
I've got to stop giving the gift of vagina for every occasion. I'm exhausted.
Doug will be the one to get my vagina. I don't know when or how but I'm now declaring that it is his. And he better not disappoint.
She bit my shoulder during foreplay last night, and it's already infected. I think she has rabies.
Just saw a rice crispy commercial and got emotional. I need to go home.
Why is "Oprah of drinks" written on my arms?
You said to write it on you, after you kept saying, "You get a drink, you get a drink, everyone gets a drink."
he said "GREAT SCOTT" as he was cumming.
He got up after sex and said "is it wrong if I say happy Mother's Day?"
Yeah, sometimes it takes a while to realize, wow you kind of suck and not in the fun way
Randomize
