i hope your v-card owns a pair of floaties
Just made ouyt with a dude on the real wporld...I said I dont want my face blired out
Currently standing on top of my parents leather couch with no pants on playing helicoptor with my penis. You?
there really is only one way to give a PowerPoint presentation in your senior capstone class: still drunk.
I'm graduating. Then you'll never see me again.
We better fuck soon then
Does the phrase 'traumatizing near-threesome' mean anything to you.
Did the game of beer pong go wrong before or after the cops and fire department showed up?
I told him that he was essentially a very life-like dildo with a person attached so he needed to stop having feelings because it was getting annoying. He agreed.
They told you that you couldn't fit in the dryer. Man, did they eat their words. You did brake the door though.
I drew a giraffe.. But she did say that bumped that test up from a 39 to a 40. It's the little things.
I've found myself wondering why I WASN'T naked before, but I generally always know why I am naked. Except now. WHY THE FUCK ARE WE ALL NAKED
Thank you for coming with me today. I find it appropriate that we celebrated my negative pregnancy test with slurpees and donuts.
He stole one of my good bras again. If I'm not getting laid I'm not putting with this shit. Also it's a walk of shame for you today, my car is suicidal again.
How did you get so drunk?
Alcohol.
jump out the window naked night went bad
Randomize
