Buhtt sex?
My nephew just came out playing with my moms vibrator.
Vanilla vodka + chocolate soymilk does NOT equal an epic milkshake.
I fucking love fucking science majors-- she told me that she wanted to know if her gag reflex got better or worse with alcohol, and that her initial evidence had been inconclusive. So, next few weeks, yeah, gettin blown periodically. All I have to do is keep a log.
Just used my last prints at the library for brackets instead of final reviews. Hello March.
Yeah not really sure what I said but I remember "douchebag" and "fuck your own face"
To a 70 year old lady?!
Just had to pull out another loan to pay for that public drunkenness citation. I am so ready to graduate.
Just had such a rough shit, don't stop believin had to be played
If after tonight I can still walk on my own, take me to another bar.
This guy just tried to hit on me on facebook. His most recent listed education is middle school. This is my life.
I just bought $54 in Easter crap to try and blend in the pregnancy test... And FYI, it totally worked.
Sounds like it could have been the night you pulled out your love stump at the strip club.
Just saw a guy I fucked in a clown suit in the bar. It's not Halloween. I have got to start making better life decisions.
while he was teaching, every time he said "wet" he would look at me, that's what you get for sleeping with the professor's assistant
once he tried to wake me up from my hangover nap to have sex, that's when things went downhill. he had to go.
Randomize
