we've reached the level in our friendship where i don't think he would rape me
Went home with a guy 2 " his house". Woke up this morn on couch to parents cooking breakfast, piss all over my back and he is no where to be found. That fuckr pissed on me and bounced. His parents are gonna think some drunk bitch pissed their couch.
I just fell for a fake 50 dollar bill in a urinal. Fuck pittsburgh
Just got an Edible Arrangement my parents sent me for my birthday. Time to marinate some fruit in vodka.
officially spring now- first drug bust of the season across the street.
Every time I hit my bowl my neighbors set off fireworks... I stop, they stop. I start again, they start again. Too high for this.
I got spanked with a cardboard tube. Apparently he used to be a percussionist. Who favored marching band tunes. It was weird.
Can we please not be like these pathetic people in their thirties who only get drunk when they go see Sherrill Crow?
He left his umbrella behind in my bed to 'keep me company', then stole my front door key before he went to work
By cross-referencing our messages & her Twitter feed, I've deduced that she was eating spaghetti the whole time we were sexting.
Sobered up midsex and just went with it. After he tried cuddling and I awkwardly rolled out of the bed to find someone on the floor, apparently it was his room so he got to listen.
What's the procedure for answering a booty call from someone under house arrest?
If pulling your dick out counts as a hobby that is his.
I just want to bone him one last time before he moves across the country with his new (average looking) girl friend.
RESIST THE DICK
thats like telling me to resist drinking water. impossible.
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