It was tug of war between me and the cop. He wanted the beer, I wanted the coozie.
Oh come on. There's no way I was the only female choir student taking shots in the back room.
bro, sorry for: trying to put you on fire yesterday, telling the bouncer that it was you that broke the bottles, and to have slept with your sister.
I am so hung over a medically induced coma is beginning to sound appealing.
Need. Hospital. Physically am floating.
One huge ass giant mistake followed by celebatory shots and coors lights thats my day in a nut shell
No it's only my right leg that feels like it's about to fall off. The left is fine.
I swear, when I turn 21 in four months, I'm going to carry a flask around with me, and make a drinking game out of everything.
forgot to tell you your neighbor walked out of her house this morning just as I was leaving shirtless
you need a warning label. Just announcing that you are Scottish is seen more as a challenge. Those guys have no idea what they are getting into.
Oohh. Then yes, he is the Alpha Fuckboy.
I opened the door, threw up on the street, wiped my mouth and flashed a thumbs up to all of the cars behind us and kept on driving
I don't even know if he's actually hot or just hot because he plays hockey..
You did not just say that.
Please tell me why we have been neighbors since elementary school and waited until the night before I moved to fuck.
My penis definitely considers my Captain Cock costume a success
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