Just saw an ad for "Liver-aid" how has this not become a life changing drug for millions?
Just saw the new iPhone. I would totally let Steve Jobs and Jon Ive eiffel tower me right now.
She spent a lot of time to get her cleavage to look that good. It would be rude not to stare. It shows you are paying attention. Chicks dig that.
My lips are sealed. Both pairs.
I don't know bro, all I could remember is that he kept saying hallelujah and calling that girl Slutimus Prime
It would only make sense that I'd cheat on him with his best friend on the ides of march...
Her virginity is one of the last things that remains of our childhood.
ahhhh just came to creep and you're not there AND your thong you were wearing last night is on the floor..someone has some explaining to do
Your heart is a swirling cauldron of blackness that does not pump blood but rather a sludgey mixture of evil and broken dreams.
I now have a bottom rung on my kissing scale. Like I can say "Well. On a scale of Matt to Braxton he was probably a Zach." It's the little things.
well you don't shave your pubes into a handlebar mustache and keep the party to yourself
He sent me a slow motion video of him jerking off...it was so long (the video not his dick) even I felt awkward watching it alone
Chipotle farts are not good for seducing boys.
At least Shia Labeouf would encourage me to do this drinking contest
My New Years resolution is to not hook up with random guys.
Mine is to not hook up with anyone who has a kid.
Randomize
