Apparently he's never heard a queef, he totally thought I farted and got freaked out.
is it true you fucked a yoga instructor last night??! ..and let me know if you want me to post that question on your facebook so kelly can see how happy you are without her
I just made a friends list on fb of all the guys ive hooked up with. genius.
you told me your penis was albino and it couldnt be exposed to light so you needed to keep it in me
he asked me if i wanted "a hit" off his inhaler. its definitely time for a new roommate
He is offering to pay me back by sending me a dick pic.
.......................................
My thoughts exactly.
If I refrain from fucking my manager, I'm going to reward myself by fucking that guy from the photo department.
I have been running off of weed, alcohol, and Mexican food. What is Tallahassee.
Is it weird that out of everything, Im most worried about chipping a tooth on his prince albert?
he said he did everything he could to puke on his nurses because they were doing everything wrong
Thats admirable.
he may or may not have motorboated me on the steps of the library of congress
We tried the hang n bang, remember? You ruined it by crying and telling me you loved me while blowing me.
Anyways enough about genital fatigue...
For the record, if you sneeze while you have a dildo in your vagina and you dont have a good grip on it, that thing can get some distance.
I remember is someone saying "I smell weed" and then having a room full of sober high school kids look at me.
Randomize
