At least we lost an hour tonight! Less time to make a fool of myself
Your friends ate a hole through an entire loaf of bread
who said I'd never amount to anything...i just won 'most enthusiastic' at my poledancing class
It's what America was founded on: former hookups referring you for a job four years later.
Well my sources tell me she just happens to appear in an episode girls gone wild.
I know someone that will spend hours looking for her. He also has many of said movies. And I will do it for free!
He screamed AMERICA, took a shot of vodka out of a Tupperware container, and then asked if he could see my tits
Then me, her, and her mom snorted tequila. The bartender was in shock.
Made eye contact with a friendly neighborhood dog walker while violently puking out the window. How's your Wednesday going?
As a gentleman, I asked her if she was sure and she just whispered "wreck me" in my ear. I took that as a green light.
I would of joined had I not blacked out last night and ran around naked breaking things till 4 am
Her alarm in the morning was Best Day Ever from Spongebob. I'm have lots of conflicting feelings right now...
Maybe if I get to know him I'll stop wanting to fuck his wife so much.
Dude, I can't even reach my asshole to wipe it. I have a lot more to be thankful for this Thanksgiving.
I can't help you there
You spent the whole night conversing with your zombie poster, so I'd say you were pretty far gone.
Right?? Give me some apple scented candles and I'm a fall wet dream
Randomize
