I mean I'm forever immortalized as the one who puked in his dad's straw hat.
She's in Spain. I'm in Holland. World Cup Final is Sunday.
Dude, it's like the Romeo and Juliet of FIFA.
Its pretty simple actually, if she texts me either Grr or Rawr it means she is horny and wants to bone. its a perfect system
i think that dennys waitress has my boxers
Looking for things to spread butter on. Found men's briefs in garbage can. Lost insurance card. Summer has finally arrived
Evidently I told a girl she should leave the bar because no one wanted to fuck her.
I decided that Calgary can keep my underwear. They earned it.
The other. Cat spoke to me and left. This shit is laced
The first cat might save me but they are taking out masks
One thing noone tells you about getting put in the drunk tank is do it barefoot. You get free flipflops.
He hasn't responded, but he probably just jizzed in his shorts again, so I'll give him time.
it still weirds me out that Robin Thicke is Alan Thicke's son
We played Rock Paper Scissors to see who would have to go down on the other person.
My entire news feed is ice bucket challenges. I wish there was a hide from feed button like FarmVille
in your professional opinion, what's the most elegant way of saying "sorry I spent all night flirting with you, I thought you were gay" ?
His wife found the thong I “forgot” in his glovebox
Randomize
