Oh no, it isn't official until she poops.
FB needs to have a relationship status called...screwing my roommates bf..linking their names would be an easier to tell her!
What do you mean when you say no pre-party sex?
Apparently it costs $70 to clean vomit off the side of our apartment building.
What would you do in exchange for having a girl eat a waffle house waffle off your body?
woke up to see a man wearing a sailor hat and covered in vomit sneaking out the door. Epic night indeed.
No, man, we stole the housekeeper's key and we're just going room to room raiding mini fridges. Hurry
Logan has the vodka and snickers. We're making a run for it. Room 302
Either im tripping real hard, or there's a legit land shark in my apartment.
I ran into my boss at the liquor store on our lunch hour we both just stood there awkwardly until i was like your car bar or mine hahaha we both need a cab
What happened to fro yo and sex?
I should become a firefighter. Who uses his cock to fight fires. Like a Superhero.
Way to go. Now you have no beer and I have a cold tit.
Drunk me really does appreciate that sober me made a list of movies to watch when drunk it saves so much time
I feel worse lying to the guy I hooked up with than I actually do for cheating on my bf
Hi. I have frying pans taped to my feet. I achave to go the hospital, theyre on pretty tight. Can't feel legs bring me juice
Randomize
