No better way to find a friend than to offer cyber sex and see what happens
i just set an alarm for noon. fuck yes winter break.
I know this is weird, but can you ask your girlfriend if she has my mailbox?
Seriously?
100%
fell asleep with the bong in the pool, weirdest tan line ever
And then she apologized after the blow job for being too sick to deep throat. I'm in love..
Just tell your wife to stay in the car because you are self conscious about drinking infront of her. Now you have a DD AND we can still have a good time.
I hope we all get so wasted that we ride the cows again
You may genuinely find a use for the siphon. But the bag of human hair is less likely.
I think we need a list of things that are automatic NO's for dating a guy. Married, definitely a no now
I'm going to get old and fat one day... probably pretty soon and I'm not going to have any pictures to show to my cats of what I once looked like.
New fact of life: getting Becca high never helps any situation at all ever.
He had a cruise ship of a dick and I need to set sail on that ocean again
Pray for me. I just had a sex dream about Debbie Wasserman-Schultz.
Wait... so you had sex and then your ear drum ruptured? I'm not sure if I want to ask if the two are related...
Whats a little breast milk between friends?
Randomize
