i feel rough
just turned on the light, there is blood EVERYWHERE.
When he was fingering me, it felt/looked like he was digging around for pocket change.
It's taken me 5 years and 2 beers to finally realize that maybe he isn't the dude for me. Also, that picking your major should be done sober, lest you find your self an art major.
She pulled out a handful of chest hair. And then gave the room a Brave Heartesque speech.
Tis the season to puke in grandma's bathroom
I will not remember tonight for the most part. This text will be evidence. You can and probably will use this against me.
I seriously think I got run over last night.. My sides are bruised and I got a ride home in the limo from the office.
There's something very strange about masturbating in a hotel room. I feel like I'm cheating on my room...
Hey nothing wrong with those! I can't believe the guys who let me see where they live on first dates. Even more surprising, I don't stalk them after they've done me wrong.
Just bc you put "its cute" at the end of it doesn't change the fact that u have called me a vag twice this morning and its only 10:03
Mom called last night while I was at the bar and asked where I was. I told her I was on the highway to the danger zone while the guys were humming the top gun theme.
I'm just more comfortable with the bondage
I woke up this morning cradling my vibrator like it was a baby
We damn well better have a snow day tomorrow. We just broke out the rum.
My liver is going to reject life during Greek Week
How many liver transplants can a person have? Bc you may need a couple
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