The dr is doing well, he randomly asked if I was bi
See it, we're so close, i smell your vagisil
He told me he had more lines than a plaid shirt
Also pencil in smooth jazz and illegal activities. The usual.
Cognac is not meant to be taken in shots. I just wanted you to know the desperation of last night.
What can I say, I'm a giver.
Smoking up the homeless at 3am does not make you a humanitarian.
Stop treating my vagina like a slapchop.
she got the mcdonald's logo tattooed on her ass. sober. yesterday at noon.
either i huffed spraypaint or ate out that makeup artist. you decide.
Matt's offering to breast feed it.
Now you can NEVER tell anyone that on thanksgiving I took a selfie of my pussy to prove they don't get worse with babies.
Ohhh the usual. Laying in bed reflecting on my decisions
Who the abstract fuck do you think you are!?
If sleeping with your boss doesnt scream job security i dont know what does.
Please come pick up your twin. She's tap dancing in her underwear and that's not how you want yourself represented.
Randomize
