I'd suck a dick for hot wings now. A metaphoric dick that is
I've been sucking dick for sushi for weeks now...hasn't worked yet :P
He's telling me stories about how he made out with a 14 yr old when he was 22. I'm going home.
Nothing says fuck you quite like putting your used condom in someones mailbox for them to find in the morning.
his cum shot went directly into his bellybutton. felt like i was playin ski ball
Just saw a denim jacket with the phrase christian cowboy...ridin with the lord under a picture of a cowboy in a sunset. I'm def in mississippi.
theyre selling pepper spray in the courtyard. hellooo atl
My dad just decided to play wingman for me... I dont want to let the family down... but both these girls are hideous
The same guy who pierced my nipples just told me he can help tutor me in precalc.
Apprently after I bit that bouncer, it all went down hill.
"Every minute you spend hanging out with David is a minute you could spend meeting someone new, who isn't a huge douche" - Buddha
She called to say the cops were not fake cops. some one has to go get her in an hour
He called my vagina "the man cave", and I found it charming
My life is literally "I'm too horny you can't leave" or "let's have pie" there's like no inbetween
Dick is the cure to depression. I'm almost positive. And cough syrup.
It was funny for a while but 3 days later I still can't walk and I've constructed a diaper-like contraption to hold the ice pack on my vagina.
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