Should I ask him to prom mid fuck? That way he has to say yes.
I'm not going to blow you while you look at fish on the internet.
The man at the Honda dealership told me I smell like vodka and probably shouldn't be driving.
Sometimes I wonder why.. Then I realize I can't fool myself with that question bc we all know it's bc of his enormous dick
i walked toward the cop car thinking it was the liquor store lights nd by that time it was too late to escape the trap
we found you in the closet, clutching coats that werent yours for stability
Dude she looks like a female richard gere plus 400 pounds.
You know it's a good party when even the dealers were too fucked up. Just found and counted 140 E pills I found in a bag in the couch. Just paid for weed this month.
Do you know how I hurt my ankle or my shoulder? Or the origin of any of the following mystery bruises: left quad, left wrist, right elbow. Thanks for playing.
My mom opened up my bank statement today....my first alcohol intervention class is at 7:30am tomorrow.
I'll have party bus drop you off in the morning.
Well you were listening to music and having sex really loudly. How was I supposed to know you'd hear me making rocket sounds?
He once bought a dildo and put fifty dollars and a happy anniversary note in the battery compartment I gotta lock him down while hes available
I usually do that but weve been going unprotected with tribal fertility symbols painted above my door
Let's just say when I woke up I was still drunk. My hangover hit me around noon so I chilled w my dad and took a bath and shower at the same time. You just can't do that at college
Saddle up bitches, we're going to an orgy.
Randomize
