do you remember what downloading porn with a 14k modem was like?
I've eaten ice cream, mentos, an extreme gulp and swedish fish today. i feel like diabetes. the actual disease not a person with it.
I'm picking out a half way decent top so if I get arrested I'll have a respectable mug shot photo. Always be prepared.
At some point I'd like to figure out how the weird kid from sociology ended up on my couch naked hugging what appears to be some sort of clothing....seriously it's creeping me out
I don't know at which point last night turned terribly, terribly wrong, but it was somewhere around Motel 6, specifically the parking lot.
Sidenote: do you recall your "give me the d" chant
Oh okay. That's fine. I'll buy us both dinner when you bail me out
It's a post jail date
Is it weird that i want a guy to ask me to homecoming by spelling it out in meatballs?
THATS VERY WEIRD
Just paid for my STD meds using a giftcard I got for Christmas. Thanks mom.
Sometimes in life you just have to realize the security deposit isn't worth it.
Get over here asap there are three naked girls two bottles of whiskey and only one of me
i just had to ask the gas station attendant what state i was in... winning at life.
im in missouri by the way.
I'll be back in a hour going with Jason to get his nipples tattooed back on again
Nothing cures your heart after a boy calling you unattractive than a big fat dick
Ever get that feeling that you're the back up booty call and half way through securing the fake date excuse to try to get in your pants, the guy hears back from the original booty call and drops the conversation with no explanation?
Randomize
