I don't think he has that. His apartment was pretty much a tv and a bed. Topless girl calendar and a glass of water to put out cigarettes.
what is TOTES MCGOATS in spanish?
Haha. We better find him. He looked like he came out of Switzerland's vagina, he's that much of a blonde beauty.
There's nothing like puking in the airport on the way TO Vegas. Something tells me i pregamed a little too hard.
I think I left my camera at your house. It would be in both of our best interests if you don't go through the pics.
There're making snowcones with the leftover vodka from last night. This is not the time to be making up excuses!
Note to self glow in the dark nail polish can be quite the mood killer during sex especially when you notice its working for the first time and you stop everything your doing to do spirit fingers
I bought him bourbon as a thank you for his apology. What is wrong with me?
Yea. Some girl set a laundry machine on fire. She's not getting married.
It blows my mind that pandora doesn't have an : I want to lay in bed in the dark and be sad and cold and eat frozen mangos and chipotle all day station
LOL he's a hopeless romantic now? 🤔 I'd say giving him a bj in a freakin softball dugout isn't the most romantic thing but it still happened
Maid of honor screwed up the joke so I just got to explain what a strap on is and why a married lady might want one to Grandma and my brother's wedding shower.
you woke me up at 1am last night high on cough syrup to tell me jay z was an idiot for cheating on beyonce
she broke the sink..i repeat the sink is off the wall. send help
God... We're terrible. I'm so proud of us.
I know! It makes me feel all warm inside. Or maybe that's just me getting closer to hell.
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