my math teacher staples burger king applications to failed tests
giving him head while hes talking to his fiancee on the phone about inviting me to their wedding.... im invited. should i go or would that be wrong?
Just got my cast off. My occupational therapist wants me to self-gratify. My clit is about to have an awesome weekend...
I had some like war flashbacks of giving someone a handjob and i was trying to figure out who it was.
like teasing for 28 minutes, then the very last 2 minutes is where is ALL goes down. I'm talking, rings off, stable sitting position, hand job madness.
He started doing the gator chop at my vag and said he couldn't wait to "chomp" on it later...and I still slept with him. I hate gainesville.
i should probably stop thinking with my vagina, and start using that $70, 000 education i can't afford. what the fuck.
You will never know an awkward moment until your parents pick you up from a one night stand.
I really have to stop having sex with people I sell drugs to...it feels unprofessional
Being able to fart in my own house is like 90% of why I pay rent
you don't even have a vagina so you don't get to tell me what to put in mine
If everything else in my life fails, at least I just had one of my top orgasms
What do I do with all this pork broth? I can't waste it.
CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG
When you can't finish your jumbo margarita and figure pouring it into a to go box will suffice... Midnight snack?
6 hours ago I jacked off a a guy for $100. I explained it away as "compensation" for gas and tolls. WHAT am I doing with my life? Quickest and easiest $100 I ever made though, haha
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