So he flipped me over and suddenly went limp then told me he was thinking about his ex.
so you punched his junk, right?
My moms helping me unpack but im getting a little nervous because I dont remember where i put my dildo
We'll make it into fun. If I can make wii bowling into a drinking game, I can make studying spanish into a sex game.
Last night must have been awesome, my dog still smells like vomit.
Seriously... There's something wrong here. I'm drinking vodka to mask the smell of chocolate on my breath before I get home and he finds out. I fucking hate couple dieting...
all i know is that each time we woke up we were at a different chinese restaurant. help.
Dude you ate toast sprawled out on my kitchen floor and said "this is comfy". No more day drinking.
You told me you aren't worried about the police that you've been training for this an that the last three months of your life have been devoted to building up your stun gun tolerance and pepper spray recovery time.
oh yeah, there may or may not be a large boa loose in the house when you get home.
After seeing all of the pics during the trial, all I could think was "her vagina doesn't look THAT dangerous"
his butt looks cute in my panties so i decided he has to wear panties all the time from now on.
Idk you're asking me for advice on dating bro, after I told you I got a convicts number today.
was that the third sophomore you've banged this week?
third one in three days
You know it’s going to be a rough day when you scream “Get fucked” at your alarm clock
Replacing my paralegal is easy. Replacing my favorite office fuck toy is a totally different story. Damn him for wanting to better himself instead of being my manwhore
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