i realized boys travel in groups of 3's and girls travel in 4's..thats why it gets so tricky
like hot dogs and buns.
Her brother is deaf.
no wonder she was so good with her hands
I woke up to an email from Groupon for 3 laser lipo treatments...on Valentine's Day...way to kick me when I'm down Groupon.
He said my labia gave my vagina a "cute personality"
She dumped a fish bowl of alcohol on herself. Just like flash dance.
We had three bowls going. It was a tri-bowl tournament. Harry potter shit.
there is nothing more depressing than your birth control alarm going off while you're masturbating, and realizing you've been taking pointless precautions for over a month now.
wait can you just like go into detail with this penis touching thing? like was it a hand job or was it like a day at the petting zoo or something
So we became Pizza Strippers- we stripped and asked for slices of pizza in return.
I just want to sing to him and rub baby oil on his head
I woke up in a cornfield to shouting, a bottle of Jim Beam, and a bunch of mc muffins. If this doesn't scream Illinois, idk what does.
I brought those bastards cookies so they can deal with my sex noise, fuck them and their roommate asses
I'm only gonna ask u this once. Y is there a picture of u only in superman underwear rubbin ur nipple on facebook????
Uh I can actually explain that one..
I don't want too, lol. I'm currently awaiting my next period like its the second coming of christ
What do you mean you haven’t had the fantasy of getting anally penetrated by a tentacle monster?
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