i barfeds in our rink
Do NOT cum in me, on me, or in my bed.
I AM OVULATING LIKE A STEAM ENGINE.
I'll start choreographing the sperm rain dance now
Your friend, the one I told I would brush his teeth with my tongue, what's his name again?
HELP THE ONLY THING THAT'S HELPING ME DISTINGUISH BETWEEN THE TWO OF THEM IS THE DIRECTION OF THEIR WINKY FACES OMFG
i accidenteley seduced the christian girl's brother so i dont think we can count on free church picnic food again
The novelty of Nekkid Straight Roommate has faded.
University has ruined us all. I just had to clarify the last time I had sex as "No, not at the party we crawled home from in the snow. It was the one where you puked off the balcony and hit the barbecue."
He just said his penis sings like Mariah Carey...Im going with drunken.
Why do I think he'd like to keep my hair in a box?
I tolerate his mediocre drunk sex for the mind blowing morning sex. More than worth it.
Well she made a 15 year old cry, the grandmother did an ice luge and I woke up to the sound of sex moans
It was the scariest thing ever having a flame that close to my balls...
I need a rain check on breakfast. A frat boy said it was his dream to sleep with a MILF, I made his dream come true and he made me cum
There is no way I’m wasting 21 year old morning wood
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