Help. Asians are flirting in front of me(773): They speak asian
its summer. and we all know college gfs do not count in summer.
college gfs dont count ever. theyre like getting corn rows in jamaica. you feel cool at the time. then you go home and people make fun of you.
its raining. im dressed as yoda and im trick or treating alone. and i wonder why im still a virgin..
Fuck buddy has no power. Invited her over to use my shower. I love hurricaines.
I need someone to get my backpack from the bar before class tomorrow. I have to give my students their papers back.
I am not apologizing for rubbing my balls on your leg...that is a risk you take when you come out to the bar with me
Josh has a goal of being naked in every RAs room this year. He's already 3/11.
Are we hungover?
I got a lapdance from a gay guy in red uggs and spandex shorts with reindeer antlers on. And I don't remember it. Hungover does not even cover it.
I may hire someone just to sell my family the drugs they keep asking me for. It's cutting into my doing drugs time.
Listen it's no longer the walk of shame to class when ur leaving the frat house and the brothers ask "when are coming back home"
A guy with a mustache poured a beer down your throat while you had a crippled boy named Sunshine riding your back
I just remember banging him and then at some point I went and took a shower and went and laid in the closet
I'm a dude in a dress, who came to a party with Holly GoLightly, got hit on by Bambi's mom, and wants to do terrible things to Link. Halloween is weird
We were on the beach when you spilled sand in the bottle and said "relax it's vodka, it'll disinfect itself"
If we were unicorns we would fly together. Like in a pack. A pack of flying unicorns
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