My mom is wearing Ed Hardy. There aren't words.
He passed out on the patio with nothing on but his boxers. So we put our beer caps on him. Yeah he woke up with a polka dot sunburn.
I woke up this morning and saw that I had transferred $0.75 from my savings account to my checking account.
I just randomly started counting the number of guys that I've hooked up with that are now gay. 11.
He's slept with 25.5 people. Wtf is a half?
He's got a wife and three kids but I'm into being that mistake.
His penis is literally smaller than my cell phone. I can't go out like that.
She roared AMY HORNEY and hulk hoganed her shirt off. Fuckin marriage time bro
i don't knpow whats goin on i think theyre sacrificeing me to th tequila gods
I guess that's what I get for clicking on a link that says clown penis.
My friend had to carry her up the steps on his shoulder, and then she got up, found an ironing board and set it up in my friend's room just in case he needed to iron things.
Pretty sure I love my nipple piercing more than I'll love my children someday
Tinder has really served to stimulate the number of sex related demons summonings.
Who cares if he’s younger, he’s hung like a moose. Your vagina will never forgive you if you pass on that dick
"Offered to eat Froot Loops out of my belly button" drunk. Thats how drunk.
Randomize
