Can't talk. I'm at the Tulsa Sheriff's office with a bunch of rednecks. I bet I'm the only one that voted for Obama.
I bet you're the only one who could read the ballott.
Small penises have feelings too.
its simple. when his lips are on my clitoris i want to marry him. when they are speaking i want to kill him.
I definitely didn't wake up this morning thinking "i wanna get gang banged today"
After doing lines off my chest, she said, "do you even know how fast I could suck your cock right now?!!" and her friend said, "yea she totally could".
you yelled "who's job is it to keep me from breaking shit" and then immediately ripped off the molding as you fell down the stairs.
do you actually have a paper bowl full of broken glass and ecstasy or was that just a dream?
Please say a prayer for the elevator people at work today. My farts are significantly more potent the day after hitting that korean place for lunch...
He said I showed up in just my underwear and a bunch of towels I stole from the party I was at.
STOP TRYING TO FUCK MY DAD
THE HOT GUY IS YOUR DAD?!?!?!?!???
First he fixed my gutter. Then he flogged me and fucked me. Then he bought me a new vacuum cleaner. I don't understand Daddy Dom stuff but I ain't mad at it.
i also remember watching someone vomit off a balcony which was kind of grim
My liver can't handle being unemployed!
Just googled myself and a bunch of boob shots of me came up. Apparently my phone automatically uploaded them to my google plus.
Please google me ASAP and ensure I corrected this...
Fruitcakes are only good for throwing at neo Nazis.
Randomize
