pwbgyin
what?
penguin condom
I just had a dream where Bob Saget recognized me from when I hung out with him in a dream I had months ago.
There should be a blender full of rum, tea, and grape jelly in the freezer. She thought it was a good idea until she blew chunks.
As i was blowing him Silent Night came on his iTunes. I said "it isn't christmas" and he moans "yeah it is."
he tried to give me his business card but gave me his health insurance card then realized it and offered to take me to the strip club
The problem is drunk me is completely unaware how poor I am
I don't really want to have sex with him, I'd just want him in a threesome. Does that make sense?
He snapchatted me the wine on the ceiling this morning
Does your body have a liquid mass index? does that make sense? I think I drank it in Long islands.. Kill me now..
Aside from having sex with a rando in a toga on george's couch i think taking plan b in the library is the most hashtag college thing i've ever done
I never thought wine and chicken nuggets would end up being a thing that I did, but here we are
Didn't pick classes because we were out all weekend...only open course is "alcohol and drug problems". Fucking ironic.
unless you want this visit to have a different tone... more romantic, less molly in a hotel room
We told him to puke in the Denny's parking lot or we wouldn't be his friend anymore. So he did. He wasn't even drunk.
you were trying to drink the laundry detergent and yelling blue drankkkkk
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